Monday, November 15, 2010

Finally, a Diagnosis and Treatment Plan!

   
     I am so relieved to finally have a diagnosis- it's exactly what we thought it was in the beginning!  Classic Hodgkin's Lymphoma, which is what 80% of HL patients have.  The good news- it's the most curable!  The bad news, it's stage IV B, which is the most advanced of the "classic" HL.  It's scary, but Doctor Goy was very optimistic, saying he thinks I will be cured and back on my feet in no time. 

     The treatment plan involves two cycles of ICE (Ifosfamide, Carboplatin, & Etoposide) followed by PET scans and whatever else needed to see if my tumors are responding well.  Each cycle involves 3 days in the hospital hooked to an IV through which the chemicals are administered.  Then, 10 days of Neupogen injections I'll be taught to administer at home.  Assuming the scans after the cycles go well, my stem cells will then be removed from my body to be frozen for later transfusion.  I will then receive 6 days of high-dose chemotherapy (inpatient).  Then I'll have 10-12 days of stem-cell transplantation (official name: peripheral blood stem-cell transplant) where I'll be spending each day in the hospital but at night will be allowed to stay at an apartment on hospital grounds.  I won't be able to be with my kids to ensure I don't get sick.  However, I was told I might be able to see them for lunch in the hospital if I wear a mask and refrain from hugs and kisses!  That will be a long several weeks!
 
     Today's appointment was very emotional.  We had to wait 2 hours again just to see the doctor.  When he finally came in and said I had classic HL I heaved a sigh of relief and smiled at Adam.  I even wrote "Yay!" in my planner.   But then it was still scary- hearing I have stage 4, that I'll be having a stem-cell transplant, and that my brothers may have to be tested for a bone marrow match if the transplant doesn't go well.  And of course, I'm sad to find out I'll be kept from seeing my family for long periods of time- though I know it could have been much worse!

    Some things about today have really made me think though, and appreciate why it took so long to find this illness.  At first I was angry when the doctor answered my question, "How long has this been growing in my body?"  He looked surprised, almost like I should know the answer, and said, "years!"  He said that in order to be this widespread, with as many tumors as I have, that it's been growing for years.  The anger came after thinking of the yearly physicals I've been getting like clockwork.  Why hadn't we caught this earlier?  However, the more I thought about it, the more I felt a higher power at work.  I have two children- ages 3 and 2.  So this cancer has been growing for years?  I recall too that I had chest pain with each pregnancy.  It was especially bad during the month prior to conceiving Evan.  I even went to see my family doc about it, and he prescribed a CT scan, as long as the pregnancy test came back negative.  Well, it of course was positive, so I canceled the CT scan and had my precious Evan.  Had I found the cancer before getting pregnant, I could have very well been sterilized by the treatment (it's a common side effect of stem-cell transplants).  I can't imagine not having Evan as a part of our family. 

   So the overall outcome today was pretty good, all things considered.  I will be going in to the hospital on Wednesday to begin my first round of ICE.  I'm trying to decide what things to take with me so I can stay busy- wonder if one of my brothers will be sending me his PSP...?  (Kidding brothers, I would never make you part with your precious PSP!)  For sure I will be taking my laptop to keep my blog updated!  I'd like to write more about my family and about how absolutely wonderful friends and family have been in supporting us- but I think I'll save that post for the long hours of the next few days.  Thank you for following along and for your love and support!

19 comments:

  1. Good luck with everything! You're an excellent little writer.

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  2. I don't know if you remember me, but I just wanted to tell you that you will be in my prayers!

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  3. I am so glad you have a diagnosis and treatment plan so you can get started and get this over with and move on!! I am so glad you are doing this blog to keep us all updated!! You have such a great attitude and sense of humor and I love it!! Good luck with the next few months!! Hang in there and know that I am thinking about you always and you are in my prayers!!!

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  4. I am so glad you are doing this blog. I remember in HS when you had Hodgkin's. I'm so so sorry that it's back. I know you will fight it again! Your family is beautiful.
    I had to get my bone marrow tested last yr. It hurts like crazy, hope your brothers have a higher pain threshold than I do!
    Thinking of you and praying for you! Loves!

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  5. Tessa, thanks for sharing your journey with us. You are a very strong person and I have no doubts you will fight this and win. You are in our prayers.

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  6. Tessa, we haven't had a chance to meet yet, but I'm one of Adam's cousins. I've known Adam since his mullet hair and ACDC days as a 12 year old :) I was so excited when I heard you guys had moved out East. Hopefully when you're feeling up to it you, Adam, and the kids can come down for a DC visit and we can get to know each other.

    I just wanted to thank you for writing this blog and sharing your experience so openly. Reading through what you've posted so far has already been such an inspiration to me, and I know it will continue to be as you go through this process.

    I know VA is a little far from you, but a lot closer than a lot of your family out west :), so please let me know if there is anything we can do to help. I'd be happy to drive up any time and help out with the kids, or do whatever you need.

    We're sending lots of love and prayers your way from VA!

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  7. I'm so glad you have Evan too. He's a wonderful boy. I have faith you will beat this. Remember that you're not alone. You have help and people who love you all over the place here in New Jersey.

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  8. I second Erin's comment! We are here for you - your personal, big, loud, New Jersey cheerleaders. We love you and are here for you. Miracles are happening right now in your healing process!

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  9. Praying for you and your family. Your one tough chick!

    Shelly Traveller

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  10. Oh Tessa, thank you so much for documenting all of this for the many family members and friends who care so much about you. You are truly amazing and I admire your positive outlook on all of this so much. It's so wonderful that you were able to have Evan. Isn't it funny how the Lord works? Anyway, I'm praying for you always and I have faith that you can beat this monster! Hang in there!

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  11. Tessa,
    I saw Adams fb post about your blog today, and came over to check it out. I am overwhelmed by your strength and optimism. Your posts struck such a cord with me, especially the ones regarding your kids. I don't know why things have to be so hard sometimes. You talked about the timing of Evan, and i couldn't help but think of one of my favorite quotes..Faith in God includes faith in his timing. Thanks for letting me follow along. I truely am inspired and send our support and prayers.

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  12. Tessa, you are so beautiful! I found your blog through Trisha's and was saddened to hear your cancer was back but after reading your blog, AMAZED at your optimism and strength and gratitude for the blessings in your life. You've truly inspired me! You're a fighter and you'll beat this! Know that we are thinking of you and cheering you on!

    Lindsey & Mark Swensen

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  13. Tessa you are a remarkable woman! What strength and such positiveness you have! I admire your attitude and how well your dealing w/this -- keep it up and you'll be better in no time!

    You will be in our prayers and thoughts especially tomorrow! Thanks for doing this blog it's incredibly inspirational and what a great way to keep everyone informed and it gives you something to do when your stuck in that hospital missing your kids..

    I don't know you personally but I do know Adam and he is a very lucky guy to have you! Brian and I are so distraught w/this and really hope you recover quickly and everything works out the way it is suppose to! The lord is there for you and he can keep you strong when you feel weak, always lean to him he'll never lead you a stray :)

    Good luck tomorrow and everyday during this journey and always know even though we're across the country if there's anything we can do we are here to help in anyway you may need it!

    Jaimee & Brian Hirschi (Adam's old boss from Bear Lake)

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  14. Wow I remember the days so long ago, when you had to fight this. You were so strong back then and I know that you will be strong and win this too. I agree with everyone about the lord knows the best thing for us and I know that you can win this. You will be in our prayers, we miss you and love you. good luck with everything.

    Nikki Ashby Fitzgerald

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  15. Tessa, thank you for sharing your story! I linked to it from Adam's facebook page. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I'm very impressed and inspired by your postive attitude. Reading your posts reminds me to cherish my kids even on those all too often crazy days. You will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers!! Good luck!
    Melissa Jessop

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  16. Isn't once enough? I'll be praying for you. You are so amazing and look darling with short hair.
    Sheri

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  17. Wow Tessa!! What a nightmare. I worked at the Mayo Clinic in BMT when I lived in Phoenix and I've never met so many amazing people. It made me believe that cancer only seems to hit the best of us and that is definitely true with you! You're an inspiration and you and your family will be in my prayers! Kick it's A!!!!!

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  18. Tessa, I'm Adam's great aunt. Anne just let me know today about your blog. Our prayers will be with you.

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  19. Tessa,
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts about what you are going through. As everyone has said... your faith and outlook is an inspiration... you are an amazing mother ~ your children are soo blessed. Thank you for reminding me about how precious being a mother is. Love you, and will be thinking and praying for you!!

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